I Don't Know This Feeling

1. I'm missing my cat horribly. Worse than yesterday. If they wanted to get rid of her, they coulda told me! I probably would've been a little sad at first, but I would've got over it. NOT telling me, and expecting me to get over it in less than 10 seconds is INSANE, and PISSES ME OFF very much.

2. Kira. I had to sit where she eats lunch today, because where I usually went (aka the library) was closed. oh, she tried to be cordial, but you could see how uncomfortable it was for me to be in there. She tried to make me fell welcome, but you could tell she didn't give a damn about me or how I felt. I so wanted to go over to where she was sitting and talk to her, but my pride wouldn't let me. I'm considering posting my farewell to those guys here so I can get it off my chest. 'Cause really, all it's doing is making the hole deeper.

3. . . . . I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like I'm all numb inside. Like someone took a shovel and took everything out. It's the feeling you get when you just finish that awesome masterpiece, be it artwork or writing, and then coming back to it a minute later seeing it totally destroyed and you don't know how. I don't know what this feeling is. So empty . . . . like life is meaningless. The only reason I was put here was to feel this new feeling and give it a name or something.

Nothing fills the void. I've read my comics (I went through The Umbrella Academy 1+2), knit on my handwarmers (so close to being done), I've sang songs, even now I'm listening to MCR, therefore fueling my obsessive need for it. I don't know why I feel this way.

Did one of y'all eat my soul when I wasn't looking? Not that I cared much for the thing, but I would very much like it back, please. Or yours will take its place.

*sigh* I wish I at least knew the name. That way, when people ask what's wrong, I can say something other than 'LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE'.

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
If you wanna follow somethin',
give me a better cause to lead
Just give me what I need
Give me a reason to believe

Ha ha ha ha ha *maniacal laughter*
the pain tortures me so . . . .


~Jink, who may be in depression