We Have No Obligation To Stay Alive

i feel like such a failure.



I'm aupposed to draw for the newspaper, but since I'm such an EPIC FAIL, they had to bring in someone else - who also heppens to be SUPER BETTER at it than I ever was.

I felt like such a failure and a waste of space at lunch that I seriously broke out into tears. Another reason to be ashamed of myself - you NEVER cry at school. Your enemies might see this as a weakness.

I wish I was a better person. That I didn't fail at life and EVERYTHING I try. I feel like I really have NO obligation to stay alive, save my writing. My entire insides hurt like someone's squeezing me inside a giant fist.

It's sad - i gathered myself a group of friends, yet i can leave a table and no one realizes this for almost five minutes. Sad, eh? oh well - this just shows that I fail at making friends, too.

Oh, but I gots a new book:



yes, I know everyone's all over the show, but I've been waiting for this VERY BOOK for almost a year. And I managed to get my mitts on the next one, too.

but I still feel like EPIC FAIL.

I wish I didn't have work tonight. I'm on floor, but knowing tonight, it's going to be hells busy. But I don't have to seat XD. Thank God. Last week I nearly lost my cool and growled at people and everyone ruined my system . . . bastards.

*sigh* I need a hug. where's my brother when I need him? Oh yeah, he's off 'being his own man'. I want to totally beat the crap out of him - my hero goes off and doesn't call or write. So many things I want to share with him, so many things I could have ALREADY shared with him, but noooooooooooooo, he can't take being at home no more.

And as for me . . .

well
I'm
already
dead
inside.

I
am
nothing
but
a
whisper
on
the
wind.

i
am
nothing
but
a
ghost.

oh, and I be thinking about changing the address of the blog from www.dopanictheyrecoming.blogspot.com to either www.im_not_okay_i_promise.blogspot.com or www.graverobbing_legal_assasin.blogspot.com. or maybe www._let_the_moster_rise_.blogspot.com. yeah, those last two hit me cause I'm listening to the Repo! soundtrack . . .

my origianl idea was www.who_said_i_was_okay.blogspot.com, but then I went, NAW! but maybe . . .

but anyway, I'll let you guys know before I do anything, okay? No horrible nasty surprises from ME.

well, people, i'm off to work on a comic or something to prove that I'm worth something, or to do something about my horrible exsistence.

~Jink the Depressed