I'll Make You A Deal If You'll Make It Out Alive

Hey hey hey party peoples. Um . . . yeah.

I don't know how to feel. This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters. Ha . . . Fall Out Boy quote.

I need more friends who live near me. I thought I had a few, but right now they've all left me for dead. Ha . . . Left 4 Dead. Always wanted to play that game . . .

Right now, the only people who listen to me are my Hellboy and UA figurines (YES, I TOTALLY BOUGHT THEM. MY MOTHER IS SO PISSED RIGHT NOW IT'S FUNNY.) I try to talk to those who tell me they care, but they don't give a flaming damn.

I want to cry. Those tears are so close to the surface, I can feel them calling to me to set them free. But it's not for what you'd think.

I can't stop thinking about my brother. My hero. And how he's left me down and broken.

Can anybody hear me,
Is anyone out there?
I've fallen and I'm broken down,
I'm dyin' over here!

If anybody's listening,
I hope you hear my cries.
My will to live is wearing thin,
I'm running out of . . . time . . .

Yeah. Go Alkaline Trio.

You know, I don't have a single person to talk to, except you guys. No one I can vent to, no confidant, not a single fucking thing.

Have you guys heard of that essay/poem/thang called Dear Body? Well, this is my version:


Dear Body:

I know what we've been through. We've been through heartache, through headache, through every single fucking type of ache out there. Though you've only been on this planet for seventeen years, you're worn and weary.

I know things are hard. We're a big person in a world where small equals beauty. We see a darker side of life that most tend to ignore. We know that one day, we're going to fade from this world, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.

There are days that I absolutely loathe you. There are days that I hate myself so much that I want to do something to you to cause bodily harm. I've even had days where I wish this pain that seems to attract itself to us would hurry up and kill us instead of drawing it out. But rarely, rarely, do I have days where I'm proud of who I am - who we are.

Body, this letter is to remind you - and me as well - not to give up hope. When the chips are down, then we just gotta pick 'em back up. When life hands us lemons, we gotta make grape juice.

Body, I'm so sorry you've been stuck with my horrible mind. Under different circumstances, you could've been beautiful. You could've shined like people are meant to. Instead, you're stuck with me.

Body, when our time comes, I hope you understand that our death is going to be on OUR terms.



Emo corner, once again.

~Jink