Your Soul Is Alive But They Want It For Ransom

Gotta love dem Flobots!! Yeah, bay-bee!!

Well, it's the Fourth of July. The day our forefathers fought and won our Independence. It's a pyro's holiday - all we do is blow stuff up.

Sadly it's illegal in my state to have the exact fireworks we have in our house right now . . . . And I don't care.

I met the new neighbor kid and gave him some of our bottle rockets. He's pretty cool - and he may be a bit into me, but it's probably my imagination playing tricks on me. I know I don't look good, so why even entertain thoughts that someone out there might think I do? And I could never introduce him to my circle of friends, because he'd ditch me for them, so why bother trying?

So sad . . . but so true . . . .

*sigh* You guys know my nook, Nathan, right? Well, his backside is all plain boring, and I want to doodle a design in red and black Sharpie. Well, sadly, i can't draw for crap, so what I'm probably gonna do is write a quote in red Sharpie and color the rest black. Works for me . . . I guess. What about the title? I like that . . . I like it alot . . .

Uhg. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. Sucks. But I have no workies this week, so happy fucking days for me!!

I'm so frustrated . . . and ANGRY . . . for NO FUCKING REASON . . . or maybe there IS a reason, and I'm just ignoring it.

I wish I had someone to hang out with. Kira and Scoffy are no good - they make me feel like an awkward third wheel. And that's not fun. I have to hide my true self from them, and then they get all mad and I wanna yell:

"OH YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT SO FUCKING BAD?!?! AT LEAST PEOPLE LIKE YOU!! BOYS ASK YOU OUT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!! EVERY FUCKING MAN WE KNOW IS UNDER YOUR FUCKING SPELL!! AT LEAST YOU HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS, UNLIKE ME, WHO HAS NO ONE AT FUCKING ALL!!!!! I'M SO THIRSTY FOR HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP I CRAWL BACK TO YOU FUCKERS!! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY???? WELL, ARE YOU?!?!?"

*sigh* they bring out the worst in me. And Blaize don't count either. Sorry dude. But you're under her spell and have a crush on Kira, so I can't very well trust you any more.

No wonder I get so many headaches nowadays. I'm holding all this anger in, and it has no way to get out. You'd think that posting on this blog would help me, but most of the time it just reminds me of my fucking pain and makes me cry inside.

Man, I can't wait for Wednesday now. The new Hellboy is coming out, and if there was ever a time for me to need that giant red demon, it was now.

I'm sorry, people - I totally didn't mean to dump on you like this. But it needs to come out in some way or I'll kill myself.

~Jink the Sadness